Sometimes this is what my life feels like. That somehow, despite all odds, I am still upright, and yet barely teetering and tottering in a balance that can potentially be thrown into chaos at any moment. On the outside, people think I have it together. They think I am calm, happy, confident, and without a care. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I cling to sanity, not because I want to but because I have to. It’s the only way to survive. I have to convince the world that I am sane, that I am normal, that I am functional, that I am happy, that I am problem free. I am not allowed to share with the world my reality, my world, my pain, my turmoil.
Perhaps through this blog I can begin to crack open, even if the smallest bit, the wall that divides me from the outside world. Perhaps this blog can act as a portal to transport others into the crazy and chaotic realm in which I exist. Why anyone might want to enter into this world is beyond me, yet I won’t make that decision for them. Good luck. And don’t say I didn’t warn you.