There are some days that all I want to do is stay inside myself. Do not speak. Have no contact with the world. Just sit, happily and contently, with myself and myself alone and keep the outside world out. Some days I feel like a turtle who has been poked and prodded one too many times and all it wants to do is retreat inside its shell. That turtle is me. I am pulling into my shell.
Sometimes I wish I had a world all to myself, with no humans in it. I could walk around freely, without all the stares and all the judgments. I could go to the park and happily swing on the swings without a soul there with their prying eyes. I could go to the bluffs and watch the sun setting over the ocean, and I could do this in peace. No one would interrupt me, no one would bother me. All by myself, in peace. I could walk at night without jumping out of my skin at every little noise. I could drive fast, on the freeways, up the coast, with no traffic to stop my or slow me down. I think I would like this world of just one. As long as I could have my dog there so I wouldn’t get lonely…
Stop looking at me. Stop talking to me. Stop stop stop can’t you see by the look I give you that I want to be left alone?
And so I pull my limbs and head into my shell and curl up. Nothing can bother me here. Here I can be at peace. Leave me alone world.