When. When will it stop. When will this all stop. When will I have peace. Just one day of peace. That’s all I ask for. I get an hour, maybe a few. It’s like, I think the storm is over. I take some deep breaths, I pull myself up, I have some breathing room. But then suddenly, when I least expect it, something comes out of nowhere and blindsides me.
I am back on the ground again. I have been beaten badly this time. The anger, the frustration, the angst, the overwhelm, the anxiety, all of them are giving me a good beating. And they are showing no mercy. They are not letting up.
I am considering trying to find another job. This one might just be too difficult, too triggering, too painful. But the thought of changing jobs fills me with fear and dread and just makes the overwhelm even worse. I can’t let myself go there. I just can’t do it.
I can tolerate a horrible amount of pain and discomfort, especially emotional. But honestly I feel like I’m at my limit. My breaking point. How many more times am l going to get knocked down before its time for me to say enough is enough. Apparently a lot…