At peace

I’m having a moment where all feels well in the world. A rare moment for me, I have to admit, and I will enjoy every bloody minute of it (my british friends are rubbing off on me).

The anxiety is low, I have no obligations today, and my body is giving me very little discomfort today. Finally I’m feeling back to my un-ill self!

Also I’m loving this weather – cold, windy, and dark clouds. Maybe the rain might even come.

I was able to sit and have brunch by myself and eat my favorite breakfast and even have two cappuccinos. I feel quite spoiled. Usually I need my partner with me to help buffer the anxiety, but I did surprisingly well. Is it strange for me to feel slightly proud of myself? I promise, I won’t make a habit of it.

As I sit here writing this, my stomach is starting to complain about the breakfast I ate, but I’m refusing to let it bother me. Today will be a worry free day, if at all possible. I deserve one of these. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I had one. **Knock on wood**

I’m feeling strangely existential. Like, I’m actually able to look around, and see the dance of life around me, and not be completely shackled to my own fears and compulsions and anxieties in relation to everyone else.

Maybe this is what peace feels like? Huh.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “At peace

  1. This is AWESOME! You are doing awesome. This is because of YOU. YOU are going through one heck of a battle, and this is one of what I hope to be many times where you get to go home on furlough. Enjoy this time of peace, and when you see the battle coming again, this time you will be refreshed and regenerated. Ready for the storm.

  2. Bourbon

    I feel a little proud of myself too. Yay for feeling pride for once to the both of us. xox

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