I’m not who you think I am

I laugh and no one else is laughing.
I cry and I’m the only one shedding a tear.
I scream a thousand screams and all people hear is silence.
The anger swells in me and people only see a picture of calmness.

I wear a mask, a shell, a facade.
I am pretty on the outside but that is nothing but the decorated shell.
I am grotesque on the inside.

Stab me. I want to die.
Wring my neck. I want to choke.
Hold me under. I want to drown.
Stick me, jab me, poke me, prod me. That is what the body is for, isn’t it? To be your plaything?

I am not who you think I am. Never was and never will be. Now won’t you leave me alone?

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