(Not) Chillin’ In the Desert

I will share that I work for a family caring for their child. They asked me to come on a trip with them to the desert to help watch their child while they are on their vacation. Since it would be a paid vacation of sorts, I agreed quite willingly.

I traveled with them once before, and although it was quite nice, I spent most of the time watching the child while the parents did other things. This time however, I get a LOT of free time to relax and do as I wish. Relax. Um, yeah.

Last night my mind was racing so much I ended up staying up until 2am reading. Like clockwork, every hour starting at about 10pm, I’d put down my book, turn out the light, and tell myself to go to sleep. And sure enough, my mind would be catapulted into activity. After endless minutes of trying to quiet my mind to no avail, I would flip back on the light, thinking reading would exhaust my mind and slow my thoughts. It didn’t…

So today, even though I’m exhausted (I had to wake up at 7:30am with the child), and even though I’ve had most of the day to do as I please (with the exception of the morning hours and the child’s nap), I have not been able to close my eyes and rest. I am now sitting having a coffee at a coffee shop, since I need a pick-me-upper to get me through the next few hours til after I’ve put the child down for bed, ordered some room service, and am finally able to go to sleep. That is… If my mind lets me!

As I was walking over here I found myself carrying on a conversation with myself out loud (in my tired state I wasn’t paying attention to these things) and quickly quieted myself (even though the conversation just continued inside my head).

Can you tell by the way that I’m writing that my mind is racing?

Anyhow, even though it’s not really “my” vacation, I would like to be able to actually relax and really enjoy myself during my time off. I guess the lesson learned is that even if you change the location of your body, the state of your mind doesn’t automatically change with it. Darn!


Ps How does one slow racing thoughts? It’s not anxiety or panic, so I don’t need to try slow breathing. In fact, my breathing is quite slow at the moment. It’s just my mind is spinning on the fastest spin cycle. Anything that people have tried and actually works?


1 Comment

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One response to “(Not) Chillin’ In the Desert

  1. one thing I tried to slow them was repeating something in my head that I had memorized. In my case it was an old prayer I had memorized but you could use anything. The pledge of allegiance maybe. you may lose track and go back to the racing thoughts but I found that I eventually fell asleep after going back to repeating it in my head a few times.

    I hope you are able to find some relaxation on this trip 🙂

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