Today is a strange day. I woke up at 2:30am with severe acid reflux and have been awake ever since. I almost called in sick to work, but I managed to push through it. (Sometimes I wonder if I’m tough by ignoring and pushing through pain and sometimes I wonder if I’m just plain stupid.) The acid reflux has lingered, as well as feelings of nausea, and just overall bleh.

I’m also experiencing a bit of derealization. Nothing feels real at the moment. The sounds. The sights. The sky even. I talked about a very disturbing thing with my friend earlier that related to my mom. My way of handling my mom’s lifetime worth of not protecting me, and just overall reacting to things in my life in very inappropriate ways, has always been to laugh it off. At times my mom’s response to things has been so ridiculous and absurd that it’s almost comical. But in reality it’s not comical at all.

That’s all for now. Time to return to my own little world in outer space. Hope you all are feeling better than I am today. X


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