Right now, my inner experience is so overwhelming that I truly just can’t handle it anymore. I am doing everything in my power to distract and avoid. Frantically searching the internet for something I can cling to, yet nothing sticks. I keep running. Today is one of those rare days that I actually am hoping the child I care for wakes up from his nap sooner than later so that I’ll have a distraction. I’ve already done everything I can do – I cleaned their kitchen, I folded the child’s laundry. Now I just wait for him to wake up. And the wait is excruciating. I cannot be with myself right now. I cannot be left with my own mind.
Must look outward. Must seek outward. Must find distraction. Must distract distract distract. Anything to take mind off the inside. Anything and everything. My mind is too volatile right now. My mind is too overwhelming right now. Must run, run as fast as I can from my own mind.
Let’s see how far I can run from myself, shall we?