WORLD. LOUD.

Today I had a horrific experience overtake me. I was walking outside (in a populated part of town), when suddenly everything started to shift. It was as though my living, functional state was temporary suspended and what came in its place was a dark, twisted reality into which I never want to step foot again.

Noises suddenly became magnified. Perhaps 100 to 1,000 times their normal strength. Someone walking on the pavement nearby was loud and uncomfortable. The cars speeding by roared past with a deafening sound.

I became hyper aware of my surroundings. My “self” seemed to extend about a hundred feet from my body, so that when any person walked within a hundred feet of me, it felt as though they were literally stepping (unwelcome) into my body. That they were tearing my flesh and my skin and were somehow inside me and I couldn’t get them out (not in any sort of sexual way – just wanted to make that clear, in case you were wondering). They were invading my personal space, and they were two blocks away.

I also became paranoid. I  began believing that all these people walking around were somehow out to get me, were trying to torment me and get in my head. I could not escape them. No matter which way I turned, there was someone walking toward me, or walking up behind me, or crossing the street in my direction. It was maddening. I felt like I was the center of one big conspiracy. If any of you have seen the Truman Show, that’s what I felt like. I felt like Truman, but mine experience devolved into a total and utter nightmare.

That’s actually how it felt. That I had stepped from my normal living, functioning world into this total nightmare from which I couldn’t escape.

I have never experienced anything like this, nor do I ever want to again. It was one of the most dreadful experiences of my life and I wish for it not to be repeated. Thanks.

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “WORLD. LOUD.

  1. Yeah, that’s not a fun place to be at all. I study kung fu, and I end up in that headspace after class a lot. The hyperarousal sucks. The weirdest to me is the hyper-hearing because I am literally half deaf. A lot of the time I’ll stop being able to hear in one ear altogether, and I get ringing really loud in the other. I switch between that and hyper-hearing, which is pretty weird.

    • It’s interesting to hear that other people experience this. Do you find that fear and/or paranoia accompany these events, or is the hyper-arousal/hyper-hearing operating by themselves?

      • I sometimes have the hyper-arousal/hyper-hearing on its own, but when I have the heightened fear/paranoia, it’s always accompanied by hyper-arousal/hyper-hearing. It’s one of those SAT Venn diagram questions.

        • That’s interesting because I’ve had the fear/paranoia but never the hyper-arousal/hyper-hearing before (at least not to the extent that I did the other day). Yes I see what you mean about the Venn diagram, that makes sense.

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