Burden, burdened

I feel like I’m a burden to everyone at the moment. How could I not be. I am constantly overwhelming myself, how is it that I am not overwhelming other people as well. What’s the point in reaching out, really? What’s the point in relying on people when all they ever do is let you down. What’s the point in reaching out to my therapist when she doesn’t even bother responding.

What’s the point in connection when all it does is ultimately hurt and betrayed you?

I’m feeling sad, and heavy, and weighted down, and so very alone. Will the day ever come when this loneliness will subside and I get to feel a contentment with being with myself; with being myself. Well the day ever come when I don’t feel like such a burden on others and instead just allow myself to be myself around them. To be myself without judgment, without shame, without ridicule. And if so, when will that day be?

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