Little Guy

As I go through this process of healing from a recent loss, I am trying to focus on the things that I enjoy, the things that make me happy, and the things that are going well in my life. Including the friendships and relationships that are going well. One relationship I want to talk about in this post is the little guy I take care of for my job. On here I’m just going to refer to him as “Little Guy.”

Little Guy is amazing. He’s incredibly smart and inquisitive. He is constantly learning new things and soaking up all the world has to offer.

My relationship with him went through a difficult phase. He was very fussy for a number or months, and would alternate between being happy one second to unbearably unhappy and screeching the next, for seemingly no apparent reason. It distressed me quite a bit, and was actually quite triggering and anxiety provoking.

However, he has come out of that phase (thankfully), and I feel like the connection between him and I has gotten even deeper as a result. We enjoy each others company a lot. He makes me laugh, and I him. We like to make faces at each other. He is simply a joy to be around.

Some of his favorite things: bubbles, going for walks, swinging on the swings, dogs, balloons, trees, musical instruments, his cats, climbing, and books. Oh and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches :).

I am very lucky, and very grateful, to have the job that I do. That I get to spend all day, every day, with Little Guy… I honestly can’t imagine anything I’d prefer. He’s grown so attached to me that now he even starts to cry when I have to leave at the end of the day. He doesn’t want me to leave…

I do realize however that one person (or child in this case) cannot fill the hole that is created by the loss of another. However much I enjoy and appreciate Little Guy, I also cannot try to use him to fill the void that was left by this friendship. For that, I simply must allow myself to sit with the sadness. But even while sitting with the sadness, I can still focus on the people who are in my life right now, right in front of me. They provide me strength, resilience, and ultimately healing.

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