I’m trying so hard to be okay right now. Probably the biggest reason I haven’t completely lost it yet is because I have the enormous responsibility of taking care of a young child. He needs me to be okay. So I have to be okay.
But it’s so hard.
Every single afternoon I’m being flooded with these body sensations. It takes all of my will power to focus on Little Guy and ensure that he’s getting the love and care and support that he needs. I feel like I’m having to be Super Woman.
I know I’ve been complaining about this a lot lately, and a part of me thinks I need to shut up because everyone’s tired of hearing about it, but I need to keep writing about it. I need to keep writing to stay sane.
These (nightmarish) bodily occurrences are squeezing out of me every last ounce of energy that I have. After the afternoon onslaught is over, I have no energy left in my reserve.
So right now I’m clinging to “okay”, and hoping against all hope that my therapist will be able to help me work through this stuff – and soon.