The building blocks of my despair

Things build on top of other things. It’s hard to pinpoint the exact root cause of my despair. Maybe it’s the body memories that have been eating away at me. Maybe it’s because I was unable to get an appointment at the free mental health clinic, and my meds are running low. Not having health insurance sucks. (Can someone say “understatement”?) Perhaps it’s because my partner is working long hours this week and that leaves me home alone, contemplating. Maybe it’s because I’m just feeling, quite simply, overcome with loneliness.

Whatever it is, I don’t like the thoughts that are trying to make their way into my mind. Thoughts of lost hope. Thoughts that it won’t get better. Thoughts of giving up.

When we are this down, how do we bring ourselves out of it? I just wish I knew. The world just seems so dark right now.




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7 responses to “The building blocks of my despair

  1. Another person or thing can’t actually take you out of this state, we can only support you and guide you. The power to free yourself rests within you and your inner strength. You are strong and you will find a way out. And as you struggle, there will be hands to hold you and walk beside you in the darkness. When you can’t walk, someone. Will be there to carry you. Don’t give up hope.

  2. viv

    I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. Just know we are here for you you are not alone. This too shall pass. Love you.

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