I don’t know what has come over me. I don’t know why I feel the need to push away from this blog and from blogging. Why does the thought terrify me? Blogging usually helps me sort out my feelings and get support. Perhaps I don’t feel deserving of support at the moment. Maybe that’s what it is that has been stopping me. That if I share how I’m doing, or what is going on with me, people will respond with warmth and kindness and that feels overwhelming. I guess I have fallen deep deep down into the well of self loathing. I’m just not sure how to get myself out.
Everything feels precarious at the moment. Like my emotional and psychological worlds are teetering on a very thin and unstable branch, and on top of it, the winds have started to pick up.
I feel like I’m completely failing my readers. I can’t blog to save my life. Please forgive me and I hope to get back to writing soon.