Just good enough

Today I am practicing self forgiveness

Forgiveness for all the people I’ve hurt

Forgiveness for my self destructive acts

Forgiveness for my instability

Forgiveness for my impulsivity

Today is a day where my life, my deeds, my words, my actions are just good enough

My parents tried their best, this I know

But they failed me in many respects

They failed to accept me for the sensitive child that I was

They failed to make me feel supported, and safe, and secure

They failed to listen, even though I was screaming out in every way possible

They failed to protect me from being shattered by another

I have much healing to do

I need to heal my fractured selves

I need to build up a strong emotional foundation that never existed in the first place

I need safety and safe people

I need stability and stable people

I need support and supportive people

I need love and loving people

I have that in my partner, in my therapist, in my friends

But I wonder… Are these things enough? Enough to heal? Only time will tell.

But today, I am not striving to be good. Just good enough.

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Just good enough

  1. Oh Brandic my lovely friend. I wish I could make you see that you are so very much more than just good enough xx

  2. A lovely post..I hope you get all these things. xx

  3. Out of the Ashes

    What struck me in reading this was that as children we had no choice as to the people who surrounded us. But as adults we can choose. You absolutely know what you need, you have written it so perfectly. Is it enough? I think outwardly, people can only do so much for us. They certainly cannot fix us, unfortunately we must do that ourselves. But in each of your posts, I read courage and determination and in each of your comments, I see love and caring so with all that in mind, I’d say, you have enough. You must simply believe it and press on. The only other option is quitting and I don’t think you are a quitter. So journey on, I’ll be one of the supportive loving friends as you go, a fellow sojourner.

  4. Thank you all for your loving and supportive words. They truly mean so much. I will write back individually when I get the chance 🙂

  5. aynetal3

    Hi Brandi,

    Think you have the RIGHT idea! It’s like a human road traveled – kind of an adventure! I believe you are enough, supports will fall in line, and criss and cross … and much joy and merriment ahead … ok some stones on the path as well, but like “let’s get this show on the road!” You’ve come perfectly dressed for the event! Yikes you are already nine months down the road. I best step up my game. You go girl! You are much more than just “good enough!”
    Our best,
    Anns

  6. I love this post. Keep going forward.

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