Inner outpouring – freewrite

I cry tears

Of what

Emptiness?

Longing?

No

I scream screams

Screams or anger?

Of hostility?

No

No, you do not understand

My wounds

My wounds are too deep for you to understand

Release me

You are WRONG

You think you know me

You do not

You do not know

The wounds

That lie

Behind your own mind

The hurt

That hides

Just behind your thoughts

The cries

That are buried

So deep inside.

You do not know

Let us free

STOP THINKING

Let us heal

STOP PUSHING

love us

LET US EXIST

make us

part of you

all we want

is to belong

which is something

we’ve never had

we just

want to heal

that’s all

YOU LISTEN BUT YOU ARE NOT LISTENING

I am sorry

So sorry

I am trying

I want to know your hurts

THEN FEEL THEM

I want to know your truth

SO EMBRACE US

why can’t I connect to you?
why do you feel so far away?
I feel your pain, and yet I don’t feel it. Why can’t I feel it?
I want to know you. And yet I feel I cannot know you, that you are just beyond my knowing. Please know, I am trying. I am truly trying. And I am sorry. I am sorry that I am even failing you. I have failed everyone, and now I even fail you. I am sorry. I wish I could just be removed from this world. Perhaps then this pain will cease.

Where did you go?

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “Inner outpouring – freewrite

  1. Sounds like a conversation with parts. I have felt the same way – trying to listen and connect, but it’s pretty tough. take care

    • Hi Ellen. Thanks for commenting. I usually have little to know inner communication with parts, and can really relate when you say how tough it is. This post actually came on the heels of extreme emotional upheaval. And the words just came – there was no “asking” or trying involved. I think they wanted to communicate to me and this was their way of doing it. It’s gone back to all the doors being shut again so I feel just as clueless as I did before :/.

      Thanks again 🙂

  2. The Quiet Borderline (back in hospital)

    Beautiful piece of writing. I love it. But hate that you feel this way. Wishing you a way out of this so you don’t have to stay in so much pain.

    Xx

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