My not-so-green thumb, exposed

This morning when I am at the kitchen sink washing my hands, I turn my head slightly and take notice of the big beautiful basil plant that sits atop our little toaster oven. Let me be clear before I proceed – big beautiful plants and me are like oil and water: do not mix. It’s safe to say that this beautiful basil (let’s call it BB for short) will have a short life.

20120815-095529.jpg This is not my beautiful basil, but another one that I found that looks just as beautiful.

See, I cannot keep plants alive. And do you want to know why? Because quite simply, I forget that they are there.

I came to this realization as I gazed admiringly at BB. See, BB was given to us by a friend to tend to while she is away for a month. We will be lucky if BB lasts that long…

I also realized as I sat staring at her bright green, happy leaves (my partner has been watering her by the way) that I only notice plants when they are doing well – ie don’t need watering. If a plant is wilting or drooping or shriveling up or dying from dehydration, I take no notice. If its big and full and beautiful, I stop and look and admire with appreciation.

Don’t get me wrong – I actually love plants. I wish I could keep them alive, because I think they are wonderful. But every time someone (who doesn’t know me very well) gives me a plant as a gift, I secretly think to myself, poor thing, little does it know it’s on its way to its demise.

As I gazed at BB, I had another realization. The type of relationship I have with plants – well, specifically that I only notice them when they are doing well and don’t “see” them when they are withering and dying – feels quite analogous to my own life. In my family, I was only noticed if I was happy, upbeat, and thriving. If I was hurting, suffering, despairing, dying inside… nobody saw.



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2 responses to “My not-so-green thumb, exposed

  1. I can identify with both sentiments in this post. I’m terrible at keeping plants alive (apart from the huge one in my hallway that I’ve been trying to kill off for years because it is too big – it thrives on neglect!) and people only really noticing me when I’m doing well.

    Take care xx

    • I’m sorry that you can relate to people only noticing you when you’re doing well. It makes one feel quite lonely, doesn’t it. I will see you always, when you are feeling well and when you are feeling not so well. xx

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