I crossed a line: a big apology.

I crossed a line with my last post, and I am sorry. I don’t know what’s come over me lately to be honest. But I recognize that my last post went to far. Well, my last several posts, but my last post in particular. I was dragging you all into something that really had nothing to do with any of you. I was feeling hurt, angry, resentful, but… still. Not excuse for how I behaved. No excuse for putting all of that on all of you. And I am sorry. From the bottom of my heart. I was in the mud and I was trying to drag you all through it with me.

Since my last post was particularly harsh and sharp, I have gone ahead and made it private. No one needs to read that again. It doesn’t help or benefit anyone, myself included.

I also apologize to everyone for making my blog private for a short while there earlier today. It was a hasty reaction and one out of fear and defensiveness. I felt backed into a corner and I panicked. I have since come to my sensed and realized the grave I have been digging myself. I don’t want to lose my blog. And I don’t have to. But I do think I need an attitude adjustment. Big time.

For those who I’ve lost as readers because of my harsh words and tone or hasty actions over the last few days, I will accept that as par for the course. I don’t claim to be perfect and I don’t claim to not make mistakes. I just hope that there are some of you left who are still willing to read what I have to write. And while there are those still willing to read this blog, I am still willing to write it.

Tomorrow, thankfully, is a new day.

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24 Comments

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24 responses to “I crossed a line: a big apology.

  1. **wipes sweaty brow in relief** Welcome back!!! <3<3<3

  2. I am here and reading and very glad you are still around xx

  3. I think I must have missed that post, and sounds like I was quite unfortunate. I don’t know how anyone could be offended by someone’s own writing, or indeed if they have a right to unless you particularly used their names.
    Don’t fear writing what comes to you, if it needs to come out.

    • You were not unfortunate to have missed it, in fact you are quite fortunate. Even though I didn’t use anyone’s name, I was targeting one person (in the blogger community) and making it clear who they were, and regardless of my feelings toward them, my actions were not okay. Next time I will just need to find other ways to vent that don’t target others here in the community or hurt anyone.

      I appreciate your continued support in reading my blog. Thanks xx

  4. Everyone needs to let off steam once in a while.Welcome back 🙂

  5. You needed to vent and I thought it was OK. Online life can get as difficult as life elsewhere. Don’t worry.

    • Thank Ellen. Even if it may have seemed okay on the surface, the motivation behind it wasn’t okay. I don’t know what I was trying to accomplish, but in the process I ended up hurting people. The next time I vent, I just need to make sure it’s not going to hurt any of my readers or make them feel uncomfortable, because that’s what the post(s) did unfortunately. If I could go back and do it again I would have done it much differently.

      But… I’m moving on and turning my focus to better (and more positive) things. Thanks for your continued support and encouragement. xx

  6. Carol anne

    Its ok. I am glad you decided to make your blog public. Welcome back

  7. Welcome back…moving forward now.

  8. well done for writing this! im very proud of you! welcome back 😀

  9. I actually don’t think that it was wrong to write what you did yesterday . . . I think that’s because I know how cathartic writing it out could be. Sometimes feelings like those you expressed, for me, will not go away until I write about it. Sometimes I want other people to know how I feel, too. But I think you have come to some wise realizations about your words yesterday. I think maybe in the future you could make such posts password-protected (and send the password to a select few; this is if you want someone to read it) or just make them private. If you have strong feelings against someone else, maybe write it, pause, save the draft, and make the judgment call about publishing when you’re more clear-headed.

    • Yes, it was a learning experience for me. Sometimes I post reactively, caught up in the emotion of what I’m feeling, without thinking about what effect my words will have. Normally I don’t think venting is wrong, but in this case I feel it was (or at least to make it public like you said) since it not only hurt the person who I was writing about (however angry I am, I don’t think my attitude of “vengeance” was justified), it also put others in this community in a very uncomfortable position, since they don’t want to have to choose sides, and in the heat of the moment/my writing, that’s what I was wanting them to do and that really isn’t fair in the slightest. I may have lost blogger friends / readers as a result, but like I said in the post, this is a consequence of my actions that I accept.

      Thank you for your feedback angel. Always greatly appreciated.

  10. Fred

    I’ve done that. Good on you for coming back!

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