I never know what to say in response to this. How do I describe myself. There are many different aspects to “me” I could write about. But… let’s just give it a whirl and see what happens.
I am a thirty-something gay woman. I have pretty much struggled my whole life with anxiety and depression. Much of my life never quite made sense to me. I always felt that there was something inherently “wrong,” I just could never pinpoint what it was. At some point along the way, I was diagnosed with PTSD. That was the beginning of things starting to make sense, although this was only one piece of the puzzle, and a very incomplete one at that. I still struggled and struggled and seemed to get nowhere. Then I was diagnosed with DID – Dissociative Identity Disorder – about a year ago. That may or may not have been accurate – I’m still in the process of finding out. But understanding that I experience dissociation, and that I more like than not have a dissociative disorder, has been extremely helpful in understanding myself and my life better. This past year has been transformative, albeit not without struggle. I still know very little about the trauma that may have led to my level of dissociation when I was younger, but I have to trust that it will be unveiled when the time is right.
I love animals. I have two cats and a dog. I have a very loving and wonderful significant other, my beautiful and amazing partner who holds my hand through every step of my healing. I love children and my job at the moment is taking care of a young child full-time. I love being outdoors and traveling. I am very lucky to live in a place where the weather encourages one to get outside and enjoy it. I love to hike and to bike ride. I love the ocean and my favorite part about the ocean is swimming in it. It makes me feel whole. It understands me.
I also love rain. Watching it, listening to it, walking in it… can’t get enough of it when it graces us with its presence.
I want to achieve a lot in my life, however I do struggle daily with mental health issues. I have social anxiety that rears its head fairly often, and that makes it hard to get out and be in the world doing what I want to be doing. Also, my dissociation is also a factor that holds me back from doing all that I really want to do. Some days, all I can do after work is just come home and zone out, or come home and curl up into a ball. However, I am working toward healing, and hopefully one day I won’t feel like these things have such a hold over me as they do now.
Thanks so much for stopping by and reading. And if you feel comfortable sharing anything about yourself, or commenting on anything I’ve written, I would love to hear what you have to say!