Alone in loneliness

Sadness, loneliness, contemplation. Years of longing, yearning, disconnection all resting on my back. Hopes, dreams, joys blown to smithereens. Slowly, not all at once. Pieces being chipped away from my heart. Where did they go. Years behind me. Many more in front of me, yet I cannot go there. At least not yet. My heart is crumbling under the weight of exponential disappointments. My fire of passion has dwindled to slow-burning embers. Someone has stomped out the fire. My fire. No phoenix has risen from my ashes. Nothing beautiful has emerged from my pain. And here I sit, in this loneliness. And yet, this loneliness trumps being lonely with her. Loneliness should only be done alone, shouldn’t it. When loneliness lives in company, how painful it is. When loneliness lives in partnership, how heartbreaking it is. And thus, my heart has broken.