Updates (finally!)

Hey y’all! I say “y’all” because I’m in the South!

For the past two and a half weeks, I’ve been overworked, overwhelmed, and overtired. BUT… Finally, a couple days ago, help arrived in the form of Little Guy’s grandmother! She is amazing and wonderful, and has insisted that I have time off and take time for myself.

So as I write, I am sitting here in a local coffee shop that has yummy iced mochas and free wireless!

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On a frustrating note, at brunch this morning with the family I work for, we overheard the family next to us saying some very homophobic things, particularly that their daughter, who is in seventh grade, is being “taught about same-sex marriage” and how disgusting and appalling it is.

Then on top of it, something that should be a happy moment – my favorite singer and idol, Brandi Carlile (thus my username) – announcing on facebook her wedding to her partner Catherine. I was happily reading along all the supportive comments, until I came to this one:

• Congratulations! BUT, What a waste of two beautiful women for all of us men!!

As much as that bothered me, I tried to ignore it, and read on. Then I came upon the next comment:

• rug munchers

As I read this, I could feel my heart start to race, and my anger start to rise. Keep in mind, these are comments that people are leaving on HER facebook post about HER beautiful wedding. Then, when I finally came to this comment, I had had enough and I had to stop reading:

• WTF. XX + XX what a formula for procreation.

Homophobia is alive and well people! For those who think that “things are changing” and that people are becoming more open-minded, I have to say that it’s hard to believe that when you read bigoted, ignorant comments like the ones above. So what was going to be a happy update during my month-long trip away from home turned into a political (and personal) commentary about same-sex marriage.

Deep breaths Brandic…

Okay, well perhaps I should talk about what I’ve been up to. I’ve been mostly taking care of Little Guy morning, noon, and night. Which has been exhausting, and overwhelming at times, but he is so wonderful and amazing which makes it all worth it.

We are in a town that is very near the beach, and also has a river running through the center of it. And… it’s so GREEN here! I’m so used to pavement, pavement, and then more pavement living in a very congested, large city, so the peacefulness and serenity of a small town is so refreshing!

Little Guy 🙂

And… it is a pretty liberal city by Southern standards. More Obama signs on people’s lawns that Romney. And I’ve found the “queerer” part of town where the women have tattoos and short hair and the men have dreadlocks, so I feel right at home. (I don’t have dreadlocks or tattoos, but you know what I mean…)

As far as my mental health goes, I’ve been so busy and sleep deprived that I haven’t had much time to think about much of anything, or for my mind to go to dark places. However, as the time has gone along, I have had more and more anxiety and panic. It got so bad that every time I was with the family, I began to have a panic attack – and then of course I had to try to hide it. I think it was because I wasn’t getting a single break or any time for myself, and I’m also not good at being assertive and asking for things for myself. Thus, my stress was coming out in the form of panic and physical stress. However, the panic seems to have gone down quite a bit since the arrival of the grandmother, who has taken it upon herself to make sure I get breaks and take free time for myself. I am quite grateful for this.

I don’t know the next time I’ll be able to check in with everyone, but for now I’m sending you all a big Southern HELLO! and hope that life is treating you well.

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And dearest Elyn, I am worried about you… Please know that I’m thinking about you and hoping you’re okay. Please check in when you get a chance lovely? x

Farewell fanciful friends!

I’m off to hit the open road! (Or the congested road more likely.) I have seven hours ( + ) ahead of me with me myself and I. Can you tell I’m excited?!

I will keep you all posted!

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Over the river and through the woods to auntie’s house I go!

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Night rambling, trip updates

Every time I lie down to try and go to sleep, panic overtakes me, so I thought I would write as a way to distract myself.

I’ve been having a lovely vacation. My partner has returned home and several of my good friends have joined me up in the northern part of the state where I am. We have one more full day and then we make the return drive home on Sunday. It went by too quickly!

Today I swam in the chilly waters of the Pacific. My whole body pretty much went numb at some point, but I didn’t mind. I love the ocean! Tomorrow we are driving down the coast a ways to go hiking. I’m looking forward to it, although I have to say I’m not feeling well – feel like I’m coming down with a cold, my back has been acting up, and on top of that my body doesn’t seem to want me to sleep for some reason. Sigh.

We’ve been eating well up here! My favorite restaurant that we’ve been to was this little place that is like an English cottage. They serve these scones that I could eat by the bucketful if I could. Wow. And the omelet? One of the best I’ve ever had.

My pup loves being able to be in so much nature, and run free off lease, far away from the cars and the big mean city dogs lol. (She has an aversion to big, aggressive dogs. Who doesn’t!)

Well my eyelids are growing heavy, and my anxiety seems to have subsided. For now. Fingers crossed it’ll stay that way.

Sending smiles to you all from my very beautiful coastal vacation spot. 🙂

Greetings from a happy traveler!

Let’s see, where do I start…

I’ve been enjoying my vacation very much. Lots of time for relaxation and rest – both of which are much needed.

My partner and I went for a nice hike yesterday in the valley near where we are staying. We saw a turkey vulture fly right by us! Very cool. Don’t think I’ve ever seen one of those before. We stopped at the visitors center on the way back to the car to see if she could tell us what kind of bird we had seen. That’s when she identified the turkey vulture for us. That was also when she took from me several of the feathers that I had so excitedly collected on our hike through the hills. She confiscated the coolest ones: the hawk feathers. Apparently you aren’t supposed to take them out of the park*…

For the most part it has been cold and foggy here. Today the sun has emerged though, which has made it a lovely and enjoyable day. Even with the sun out, it is still quite cool, which is a nice change from the sweltering heat of the summer where I live.

My pup has been enjoying herself. There’s a large grassy area where I take her for walks, with a beautiful view. She enjoys the grass; I enjoy the lovely view. She gets so excited that she’s off leash and free that she runs sprints around me. It’s great to see her so happy.

Thursday will be me and my partner’s five year anniversary. Five years. Wow how time flies. It’s quite amazing – each day with her seems to get better and better. What would I do without her in my life?

That’s all to report about so far. Not very exciting, eh?

Hope everyone out there in the blogger community is doing well. I’m thinking of you all, and I’m sending some of the cool breezy sunshine your way.

More soon.
x Brandic

*Next time I’ll be sure to stash my feathers safely away if I go into a visitors center or ranger station rather than holding them out in plain sight. Oops!

Running around like a banshee

Today I’ve been running around, trying to get everything done before I leave for my trip tomorrow. Don’t worry friends, I will have internet access where I am going, and I will be posting from my vacay spot!

I’m so excited. A whole week away. Joy joy joy! I love traveling, and I love road trips, and I love vacations and all that comes along with it. We will be staying near the beach, although where we are going the water is quite cold. That hasn’t stopped me from going in in the past though! (I’m secretly part fish. Okay, now that I’ve shared that I guess it’s not so secret anymore… hehe)

Can you tell I’m in a good mood? Traveling really brings out the best sides of me. Maybe it’s the feeling of escaping the everyday stuff, I don’t know. AND I get to bring my dog along – which is an extra bonus! She’s a great little traveler.

I apologize for falling behind on responses to my blog: I will get to them in the next week, I promise! And I have lots more to update you all about, including my really positive therapy session on Monday!

So… no complaints here!

Okay, well laundry and paying last minute bills and cleaning and packing are are calling! Sending you all a smile and a hug (if you like hugs) and be rest assured that you’ll be hearing from me soon.